Wisdom from the nail salon
Life lessons from heartfelt conversations with fellow immigrants
“Happy New Year!” That was the cheerful chorus of greetings I heard as soon as I opened the door to my frequented nail salon on a regular Sunday morning by Western standards. Along with the greetings came the louder-than-usual Tet holiday music enveloping the tiny place. “Happy New Year everyone!”, I responded making some effort to speak louder over the music.
There were three other clients inside, all were probably wondering about the greetings I have just exchanged with the salon employees but no one joined in the conversation to learn a little more about it. I take it not everyone thinks each life encounter as a learning opportunity.
Since I was several minutes early than my appointment, I examined their small but festive Tet display by the reception area. “We got chrysanthemums because they do not have the yellow flowers we typically have in Vietnam”, said one of them who saw me observing. “It is beautiful”, I said in reply. Floral arrangements for the lunar new year are usually comprised of the blossoms from flowering fruit trees around this time of year. All over East and Southeast Asia, one would typically see yellow apricot blossoms and pink peach blossoms as part of the display for the new year feast.
They had two huge pots of yellow chrysanthemums with traditional red envelopes hanging all over. We call those envelopes “angpao” in Philippines, a term that is of Hokkien Chinese language origin (“hongbao” in Mandarin). In Vietnam they call it “bao li xi” or lucky money. The names vary across cultures in East Asia because of the multitudes of languages spoken across different groups of peoples but some aspects of the traditions remain constant. The adults put “lucky money” inside these red envelopes and hand it out to younger members of the family. Those children who used to be at the receiving end of this arrangement would eventually find themselves on the other side as adults.
“I called my family on Friday night”, my nail specialist told me as she started removing the old polish from my nails. I nodded and she went on to tell me about her phone call. We laughed as we remembered being excited about receiving red envelopes ourselves as a kid. The other nail specialist who was still waiting for her next client approached and started showing me photos of her lunar new year feast.
“I have to ask you something,” the one working on my nails politely asked. I smiled and told her that she has always asked me anything without any warning in the past. After a round of laughter she said, “Have you ever noticed people here just calling this holiday as Chinese New Year? I do not like that. Asia is not one country. It is our new year too, you know. And, the new year for others who observe the lunar festivals. I do not like it when they just call it as Chinese New Year.”
To answer her question, I told both of them that I had the same conversation recently with acquaintances who might need to be educated with the cultures we grew up in. They both gave me their unfiltered approval with their heads nodding affirmatively.
As she focused on painting my nails with the new color I have chosen, I got lost deep in my own thoughts. In the age of high-speed internet and social media that allow all of us to learn about the beautiful diversity of the world, one would wonder why there seems to be some pockets of resistance against learning more about each other. One does not need to go to formal universities to be taught by the most distinguished professors to learn. Nowadays, all it takes is the desire to be curious.
“No matter where we live, we will always try our best to stay with our traditions. Traditions are important. If we do not have it, we might get lost and not reach our intended destinations.”
For the three of us inside that nail salon today, our curiosity not only allowed us to learn more but it also gave us strength to seek for our own adventures outside of the countries we called and still call home. We are Americans now but I am still Filipina and they are still Vietnamese to their very core. And, as if on cue she paused to look at me and said, “No matter where we live, we will always try our best to stay with our traditions. Traditions are important. If we do not have it, we might get lost and not reach our intended destinations.”
dedicated to the adventurous spirits of immigrants.
That was beautiful Jen- as a westerner I had not considered that Chinese New Year was dismissive of so many other cultures- I will not use that term again. Thank you for sharing- always learn new things from your posts!
There's a move here to recognize Lunar New Year as a state holiday. Note Lunar, not Chinese. Sure, there are some Chinese immigrants here, but also Vietnamese, Filipino, Thai, Lao, Cambodian, Korean, and Tibetan. So, in recognition of all of them.