Thanks Tory. The additional you added and discussed by the links you have given are something I have read in similar sources, but I have not personally read them in peer-reviewed journal yet. So, I cannot intelligently speak for, against, or neutrally about these newer categories of responses. I appreciate you taking time to read and share. Perhaps I will look them up this weekend.
Thank you for sharing this, Jen. I wish that book had existed a few decades earlier. Like you, I coped by "freezing", and eventually found my way forward by spending a lot of time alone in nature, writing poetry and painting. Creativity allowed me a safe outlet for expressing grief and trauma. Books like Nagoski's, shared first-person experiences like yours are beacons of light for those caught in a dark night. I appreciate your openness and honesty.
Thanks for reading Julie. Their book also included more than what I shared and I would highly recommend reading it. Some chapters might be agreeable and others less agreeable, depending on perspectives, but the completion of the stress cycle was something I favored because it had an evolutionary explanation to it.
Julie it seems that your coping mechanisms were also on-point. Our body knows how to handle stress if we take time to listen and follow what it wills us to do.
This incredibly written Jen. I cried as if I was feeling your pains. Thank you kindly for sharing with us💕 My stress response use to be flight. I have learned to stop running from my pain, trauma’s and past. I started meditating, writing, baking and crocheting. Remembering it’s alright to feel all my emotions and to have compassion for myself.
Thank you for such a clear and real overview the stress cycle and what you learned in your reading. From June 2020 - March 2022 I lost my mother, father and younger brother to death. Along the way I began a daily yoga and meditation practice and wrote like crazy. I have not been able to articulate how these physical practices helped me until this moment. I had not read before about completing the stress cycle and now so much of how I survived and still do makes sense and why when I was injured five months ago and unable to practice yoga or even walk regularly I began to struggle again. I was angry I did not have the ability to move physically like I had been for so long. My stress level went out the roof. Now it all makes sense. Thank you. My condolences for your loss. May you continue to navigate your grief with light, love and learning. 💫
Hello! I am with you on these thoughts and that is why I felt like I had to write it out so I can also process all the new things I have learned better. I am so sorry about what you have experienced too and I feel thankful that you found the actions that helped you.
Thank you for sharing this Jen. Grief and trauma are such a double edged sword, if we are gifted the time and grace they can almost lead to some form of rebirth of self. I’ve also found poetry to be very cathartic, although my experience of loss was in no way comparable to yours. Being open to spirituality / the universe/ life is a blessing too ❤️🩹
Jen, first, I am so glad that you are here and that I get to read and share in this space with you. I found this post really insightful (and well researched) but most of all, a hope-filled. It reminded me of many moments in my life when I too just had to keep talking myself forward and sometimes fell on my knees in prayer too; but mostly it reminded me of the last big moment of my life when I felt I couldn’t move forward anymore. In those moments I heard (my spiritual guidance) say to me “just look for the One ☝️ next step to take and focus on that.” I remember growing through my days in this way for many years until one day I noticed I was somewhere that felt so much better, and I felt empowered in my life again. Keep the faith Jen 🙏🏻 with love 🫶🏻
your comment, too, is filled with wisdom and thanks for sharing that with me. I agree with your experience about one step at a time. that became my mantra with my sister. for us it was even as small as "one second at a time" when we felt like we could not take another day of it all.
obviously i filtered out a lot of personal details in my post but I think you understand the enormous pressure and stress events like these bring to people. Thank you for your support for my writing and I am forever grateful for your presence here.
It takes so much courage to even write about this.While studying in higher education and recieiving such tragic updates is horrific even on the day of an exam or presentating is stiffling! .I know I cried a week during clinicals hearing tragic updates of beloved family being in a country faraway(oceans away) from family is even more isolating. I am grateful you had the physical space the scream shake and release.I only read a few lines of your blog until flihgt fright freeze section because my own experience of 20 years ago in undergrad flashbacked in my mind.
I’m sorry you went through all of that. It sounds really hard.
Nagoski’s work is a game changer in terms of getting the stress out of the body.
Just for info, I think there are additional stress responses.
Fawn - emotional reaction that involves becoming highly agreeable to the person abusing you.
Flop - we become entirely physically or mentally unresponsive and may even faint.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-does-fight-flight-freeze-fawn-mean
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/tools-for-victims-and-survivors/understanding-your-response/fight-or-flight/
Fawn is linked with people pleasing and losing your sense of self. 🙋♀️
Btw - it was beautifully written. 👏
Thanks Tory. The additional you added and discussed by the links you have given are something I have read in similar sources, but I have not personally read them in peer-reviewed journal yet. So, I cannot intelligently speak for, against, or neutrally about these newer categories of responses. I appreciate you taking time to read and share. Perhaps I will look them up this weekend.
Thank you for sharing this, Jen. I wish that book had existed a few decades earlier. Like you, I coped by "freezing", and eventually found my way forward by spending a lot of time alone in nature, writing poetry and painting. Creativity allowed me a safe outlet for expressing grief and trauma. Books like Nagoski's, shared first-person experiences like yours are beacons of light for those caught in a dark night. I appreciate your openness and honesty.
Thanks for reading Julie. Their book also included more than what I shared and I would highly recommend reading it. Some chapters might be agreeable and others less agreeable, depending on perspectives, but the completion of the stress cycle was something I favored because it had an evolutionary explanation to it.
Julie it seems that your coping mechanisms were also on-point. Our body knows how to handle stress if we take time to listen and follow what it wills us to do.
Our body knows...we just need to listen🤗
yes creativity indeed holds a space for the depth of our lives.I relate!
This incredibly written Jen. I cried as if I was feeling your pains. Thank you kindly for sharing with us💕 My stress response use to be flight. I have learned to stop running from my pain, trauma’s and past. I started meditating, writing, baking and crocheting. Remembering it’s alright to feel all my emotions and to have compassion for myself.
Your approaches are on point as well!!! The creative outlet most definitely coincides with what they discussed in the book!
Thank you Jen. Trust me plenty of practice makes perfect in my case.
Thank you for such a clear and real overview the stress cycle and what you learned in your reading. From June 2020 - March 2022 I lost my mother, father and younger brother to death. Along the way I began a daily yoga and meditation practice and wrote like crazy. I have not been able to articulate how these physical practices helped me until this moment. I had not read before about completing the stress cycle and now so much of how I survived and still do makes sense and why when I was injured five months ago and unable to practice yoga or even walk regularly I began to struggle again. I was angry I did not have the ability to move physically like I had been for so long. My stress level went out the roof. Now it all makes sense. Thank you. My condolences for your loss. May you continue to navigate your grief with light, love and learning. 💫
Hello! I am with you on these thoughts and that is why I felt like I had to write it out so I can also process all the new things I have learned better. I am so sorry about what you have experienced too and I feel thankful that you found the actions that helped you.
This made so much sense to me. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Hello there Trudi! Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for sharing this Jen. Grief and trauma are such a double edged sword, if we are gifted the time and grace they can almost lead to some form of rebirth of self. I’ve also found poetry to be very cathartic, although my experience of loss was in no way comparable to yours. Being open to spirituality / the universe/ life is a blessing too ❤️🩹
Thank you 🙏🏻 for the wisdom Ruth.
Jen, first, I am so glad that you are here and that I get to read and share in this space with you. I found this post really insightful (and well researched) but most of all, a hope-filled. It reminded me of many moments in my life when I too just had to keep talking myself forward and sometimes fell on my knees in prayer too; but mostly it reminded me of the last big moment of my life when I felt I couldn’t move forward anymore. In those moments I heard (my spiritual guidance) say to me “just look for the One ☝️ next step to take and focus on that.” I remember growing through my days in this way for many years until one day I noticed I was somewhere that felt so much better, and I felt empowered in my life again. Keep the faith Jen 🙏🏻 with love 🫶🏻
your comment, too, is filled with wisdom and thanks for sharing that with me. I agree with your experience about one step at a time. that became my mantra with my sister. for us it was even as small as "one second at a time" when we felt like we could not take another day of it all.
obviously i filtered out a lot of personal details in my post but I think you understand the enormous pressure and stress events like these bring to people. Thank you for your support for my writing and I am forever grateful for your presence here.
🙏🏻🥰
It takes so much courage to even write about this.While studying in higher education and recieiving such tragic updates is horrific even on the day of an exam or presentating is stiffling! .I know I cried a week during clinicals hearing tragic updates of beloved family being in a country faraway(oceans away) from family is even more isolating. I am grateful you had the physical space the scream shake and release.I only read a few lines of your blog until flihgt fright freeze section because my own experience of 20 years ago in undergrad flashbacked in my mind.
Hello Reena. Sending you comfort and love as you embark on the process of remembrance.
thank you for all the resources of reading you share in this blog post too!